I am sure if you asked 400 men they would give you 400 different answers.
I start writing articles because usually I have the same questions you have. These questions come from comments made by others. Also they come because I feel like I can improve in certain areas.
I know that I am not at a place of perfection and I need to improve for my wife, children, grandchildren and others I contact.
So a Christian man is a man of wisdom in all areas like finance, marriage, raising children, being the head of the family. He is faithful, reliable, has good character and has freedom.
In this article we are going talk about 4 characteristics of a Christian man.
The World View Of A Christian Man
First the world view of a Christian man must line up with what God has said. For decades and probably centuries man has been trying to make the rules for society. However, we can see from history that when man makes rules for society and man follows his lusts he brings about trouble. Right thinking leads to better living.
Right now we are being asked to condone marriage between two men or two women. We are being asked to support abortion. These are just two of the things we are asked to condone that are in direct opposition from the teachings of the Bible.
Don’t get me wrong I am not her to condemn anyone. I am here to offer hope and maybe wisdom on how to keep the Biblical world view and still be a part of society that can right its course.
How does a world view develop? A world view is develop by the things a man hears and thinks about. We need to filter everything we hear. It not a matter of accepting or rejecting everything at the outset. It is better to consider what the teachings of the Bible say. If we don’t know what the Bible says then we need to look for answers in the Bible. The Internet makes this easier than ever to see what the Bible says about any subject.
The Bible is after all a love letter to God for us and an instruction manual for families, churches and nations.
The best way to develop a world view is to read the Bible everyday and asks many questions throughout the day and do research.
Be Follower Be A Leader
I know that that sounds contradictory but it is not. At this point in our lives we can be leaders to those who don’t know as much as we do. We can also be mentored by someone that has more on the ball then we do in certain areas.
Professional athletes have more than one coach. They may have just won the Super Bowl but they have a head coach, a position coach, a strength coach and they have doctors and therapists. They surround themselves with people that can help even if they can’t run as fast, or block as good or throw as well.
When men get married, they are called to be leaders of the family (1 Corinthians 11:3). Most of the time it is just the husband and the wife at the beginning. It is a mans job to lead the family no matter how large or small. It is not about being a dictator.
Men bring your family to a good Bible believing church. Create a family budget where you spend less then you make. Be the spiritual leader and show the love of Jesus and teach them to be show the love of Jesus.
This is not a call to perfection. Men we will mess things up at times. Learn how to take responsibility for those mistakes and learn how to accept help when you need it.
I have worked in small and large corporations and the CEO and other C-level executives would know what they knew and would ask for help. Even though they made millions a year they would ask people who earned less than 100k a year for help.
Men being a leader is by being humble. It is more important to get the job done then to have pride.
Get Your Finances Together
Guys, bad finances are a big part of struggling marriages. If you are the numbers person then make a budget with the wife's input. If the wife is the numbers person let her make the budget with your input.
It is your duty to make sure there is a budget.
Make a realistic budget. Include everything in the budget. First thing is the tithe, second is the retirement if you have no debt. And the third is the way to get out of debt (Romans 13:8). Don’t neglect the vacation savings, the savings for a new rifle or the necklace for your wife. It doesn’t mean you get it now.
If some stuff has to be sold, if some things have to be curtailed like date nights then do it for a short time. Find a way to do date night for less a lot less.
The budget should be about getting some of those dreams you have and still being able to sleep at night because there are no debts.
Being a man means telling yourself or your wife or children not yet and sometimes no.
Love and Forgiveness
The best part of being a man is getting to love your wife. Our first love should be God and that makes loving your wife even better. First when you know God’s true love it can be modeled and men you can love your wife the same way ( Ephesians 5:25). She in turn will love you and respect you like never before.
Love doesn’t keep score, it doesn’t get angry and it doesn’t take revenge. Love is about giving. Jesus laid down His life for us while we were still sinners. If the wife is being mean or nasty, it is time to love even more.
Most of the time the person who offended who doesn’t even know they offended you and they go about their day normally. If it was your wife who hurt you don’t accuse her of it. Tell her in a constructive way why she did what she did hurt and offer a solution.
Bring some love to the table and leave anger, resentment and bitterness alone. Be bitter or angry or loving are choices we make. Make the choice to be positive and loving and a great leader.
There are many things that make a Christian man but this is a blog post and not a 4 volume book. However, I think I highlighted some of the essentials.
Read you Bible daily so that you can have the proper world view and don’t fall for anything. I loved the Leave It To Beaver episode where Ward said to the Beaver Just because everybody calls is right doesn’t mean it is right and just because someone calss it wrong doesn’t mean it is wrong. Take every thought captive and measure it against the teaching of Jesus.
Be a leader, be a world changer. It starts at home and building a strong family. It doesn’t mean you know everything or fake it, being a leader is about taking responsibility and asking for help where needed.
Get your finances together and grow up. Don’t shout and scream until you get your toys. Get out of debt and save money for retirement and big purchases.
Most important is to love and to forgive. You can’t love and not forgive.
Make wise choices to deny your flesh, to take the heat and be a leader and to love even when you don’t feel like it.
The Amazon ebook below is "The Invisible Marriage Counselor". Click on it and see how men can forgive and grow and love.